Robauditor

From DiBergi’s Encyclopedia of Cinema (3d. Ed., 2014):  

Robauditor (1982).    This little-seen film from 1982 presaged 1984’s Terminator (and 1987’s Robocop)—with none of the acclaim and, clearly, only a fraction of the budget. 

The premise:  CPA Rhonda (newcomer Jeanine Pettibone) is grinding through yet another tax season when she is approached by a client group with some unusual bookkeeping demands.  At first she pushes back, but ultimately she succumbs to the generous rewards provided by her Colombian bosses.  When the Feds finally corner her, they propose a deal:  she can cooperate and go into witness protection, or she can take her chances with a public trial.  She agrees to the former and then spends a year secluded in an Idaho cabin (during which she has a gratuitous nude run-in with a wolverine) helping the government make a case against her former clients.  Not surprisingly, the Colombians are unhappy, and when they eventually find her one snowy night, the result is rather unpleasant (and explosive).

Rhonda wakes up on a table.  The government doctors give her a choice:  become a government agent for real, or make her way as a torso.  Rhonda does not see much of an option.  After multiple experimental surgeries during which she is affixed with five spider-like limbs and various task-specific implants, The Robauditor is born. 

Rhonda/Robauditor spends the rest of the film chasing the bad guys (including one whom she accidentally “terminates” during an unexplained and creepy midnight tryst), scaling walls and tunneling, downloading financial information through her navel “dataport,” taking telephotos with her “laser eye” and making clandestine audio recordings through her “ear thingy.”

Rhonda’s CIA contact Goldie Oskërmann (Bobbi Flekman) becomes her only friend, as reflected in scenes like the two women strolling down the streets of Paris during a mission hiatus.  (This scene is particularly weird, as the now 7’4” Rhonda towers over her companion and no one seems to notice that she is carrying baguettes in three “hands.”)

The movie concludes with 83-year-old Rhonda finally retiring to a private island off the coast of Malaysia, her 500th mission (and plea agreement) completed.  Although she seems at peace, she does keep her good ear tuned for the approaching sounds of motorboats and Spanish.

Robauditor ran for three weeks in the summer of 1982.  Audiences mostly were entertained—some so entertained they could not stop laughing after leaving the theater. 

Filming of a 2004 remake was scrapped when lead Angelina Jolie discovered she was allergic to latex.

Original movie poster artwork here.